dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
