Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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