I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm bleeding and have questions
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
