Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
