If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
