I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
