these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
