Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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