Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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