I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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