mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
id be glad to
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
