Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just high enough for therapy.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We're too hungover to prance.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
