look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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