I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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