Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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