Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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