They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think your dad took our porno
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
