They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
