I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
