Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
