Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
