he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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