i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
