FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
