Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
