Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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