Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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