hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
