why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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