seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
