Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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