Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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