I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Shame is for Republicans.
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