# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she told me i tasted like america
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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