He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
