maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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