he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
