She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
where are my eyebrows?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
