whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
