summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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