pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Bring me that man meat
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dear god my vagina.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
