the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
