theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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