I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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