you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
