btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize