i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
