VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
