U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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