i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
