I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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