if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he shaved USA in his pubs
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
