Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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