Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
