Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
