I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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