I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
me + whiskey = a bad person
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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