Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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