; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
