We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
