Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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