im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
