You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
