I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize