so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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