Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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